


You're Gonna Miss Me

by AMac0218



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Guilt, burial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 16:32:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2699693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMac0218/pseuds/AMac0218
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't want to write a summary because I don't want to give anything away. Daryl based fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Gonna Miss Me

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers in this story! SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't seen the Winter Finale of the Walking Dead, don't read this. I'm thinking about doing an AU, if anyone is interested?

_You’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon._

Daryl was numb. Completely and utterly numb. He looked down at the blonde girl at his feet. Still. Cold. Dead. She may have had a drape over her, but he could see her face through it. Her lifeless look would haunt him for the rest of his days, however many of those there were left. He clenched his teeth as he gripped the piece of wood in his hand, his knuckles turning white. He turned away from the body, completely against calling it by her name.

That wasn’t her. The only thing she had in common with that body was her looks. Same blonde hair, same facial features, same weight and height. But it wasn’t Beth.

Beth had bright blue eyes and a light that lived under skin, deep within her soul. A light that was snuffed out too soon. She’d seen the good in everyone, the good in every situation, and even though she was a little naïve at times, she had a head on her shoulders and was a survivor.

Daryl lifted the piece of wood and struck it into the ground, pulling away some more dirt and then using his hands to shovel it out and over his shoulder onto the ground behind him. As he dug, his mind kept replaying what she had said to him.

_You’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon._

He choked back a sob as he slammed the broken piece of the pew back into the earth, tearing away more, tears blurring his vision. He swallowed back another sob as he started to dig faster, his mind going to the cop. Dawn. He growled as he kept kicking dirt away, slamming the wood down so hard it snapped. He grunted as he pitched forward, his knuckles scraping along the now even more broken piece he was digging with. He pushed himself up into a sitting position in the dirt, his shoulder slumped, his head down as he felt the weight of the world gathering back on them.

He’d failed her. He let her get taken by that group of people, and he let her die.

It all happened so fast he hadn’t seen it. All he saw was a flash of metal and then heard the ring of the gun, the warmth of her blood.

He looked down at his hands, squinting through the tears again as he started to pick out the splinters. He heard someone coming up behind him and he used the back of his forearm to brush away the tears, mud taking their place on his cheeks. He turned his head away from Rick as he sat next to him.

“I don’t need any help,” Daryl told him.

The sheriff nodded but didn’t leave.

“There som’n I can help you with, Rick?”

The sheriff shook his head, keeping quiet now.

Daryl’s eyes went to the body again.

“It wasn’t supposed to end like this…” Daryl mumbled as he tore his eyes away from her. He swallowed thickly as he looked down at the hole in front of him. It wasn’t very big. He’d dug a lot of graves, he’d dug bigger, but this one was the deepest. “I wasn’t supposed to let it end like this.”

“It wasn’t your fault-,”

“Yeah it was!” Daryl shouted back. “Yeah it was my fault…I let her out of my sight for two seconds…. _Two seconds_ and then all that shit happens,” he gestured into open air with his hand. “All that…bullshit in Atlanta….with them asshole cops,” he clenched his teeth tight. “Now she’s dead.”

Rick kept quiet for a few moments, pulling in a breath, “Beth’s death is as much your fault as Sophia’s was mine. There’s not a single one of us who hasn’t felt responsible for someone’s death in this group…but this is just the way the world is now.”

Daryl sniffed and shook his head, “How many times’d you have to tell yourself that before you could come out here and say that to me? Do you even believe that?”

Rick sighed as he stood up, tossing the shovel he’d brought with him from the fire truck next to the other man. “Keep beatin yourself up and you’re gonna go down a dark path you don’t wanna go down…one you might not come back from…trust me, I’ve been there and I’m still workin my way out.” He reached his hand down and pat Daryl’s shoulder before he walked away.

The southerner picked the rest of the splinters out of his hand and he stood up again, taking the shovel and started digging again. He climbed up out of the hole when he was done and put the shovel in the dirt, spade down and made his way over to the body. He bent down and carefully picked her up, one arm around her back, the other under her knees as he held her against his body. He looked down at the sheet and felt tears prick the back of his eyes, his throat burning and tightening as he swallowed thickly, trying to breathe through onslaught of emotion. He ground his teeth together.

_You’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon._

He heard the words for the umpteenth time and this time he broke completely. He bent his back, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against her cold temple. His shoulder shook as he held her tight to him, sobbing like the world had ended all over again. He tried to catch his breath, trying to latch onto something that would let him breathe. “I’m sorry,” he gasped, repeating it over and over again, willing her to hear it, even where she was. “I’m so sorry…” he cried as he held her tighter. He was apologizing for losing her, for not finding her, and for failing her. He carefully laid her in the ground and climbed back up, numb again as he covered her. He put the spade back in the ground and just stood there, his eyes not really seeing anything now.

Again he heard someone coming up behind him, “Goddamit, can’t I just be left alone?” he shouted as he turned his head a little, seeing Carol this time. Again he felt his heart break, if that were even possible. His lower lip trembled as he looked at her like a small boy who’d been kicked over and over again, never given one moment of happiness. When he got that happiness, though, it had been ripped away from him.

Carol went over to him and pressed her forehead against his shoulder, her arms wrapping around his bicep as she wept quietly, though Daryl clenched his teeth tight, too numb to break down again.

“I already miss her…” Carol managed to say.

“…Yeah…”

_You’re gonna miss me so bad when I’m gone, Daryl Dixon._


End file.
